This girl be trippin. From the moment my daughter wakes up in the morning a little past 5 AM all the way to the final seconds before she crashes at night, it’s trip, trip, trip, trip, and trip some more. Ever since she learned to walk, and now two years later, all day, everyday, that’s what she does. Trip. Over toys, over blankets, on carpet, on pavement, up the stairs, down the stairs, everywhere and anywhere, and usually over absolutely nothing at all except maybe her own foot.
Now, I just shake my head because no matter how hard I’ve tried to teach her to be careful time and time again, she just keeps on, keeps on trippin. And what can she do? It’s not like she does it on purpose and her tears tell me it hurts too. She just has to learn the hard way, I suppose. But she will never let that stop her. I’m finally convinced she would rather fall flat on her face rather than miss out on doing what she wants to do.
The other day she had one of her more serious episodes when she was playing outdoors and she tripped so perfectly that her left cheek slashed into the pointy corner of a concrete pillar sitting at the end of our walkway. Ouchhhhh. It was bloody painful even for everyone standing by who witnessed her fall.
Right away, we brought her inside, and as we iced her up and tried to stop the bleeding, she wailed in my arms a good, hard 15 minutes. Surely, I thought, she’s done for the night, and I could probably use a breather myself.
But when I turned to grab a band aid for her gushing wound, I looked back to see she had already jumped off my bed. Then, after she wiped away her last few tears along with all the clumps of hair that had gotten smeared into her snotty face, she marched straight back outside. Unfazed, determined, and with little balled up fists and a fight in her step, I watched her go.
When did she get so tough? It was like watching a mini Rocky get back into the ring after being pummeled over and over again until practically being knocked out completely. And while a part of me was scared to let her go off and fall again, the bigger part of me wanted to scream, “you go girl!”
Because the thing is, I used to kind of be like that, but these days, the truth about me that I’m realizing is I hate falling. Falling, failing, flat facing–I’d like to avoid it all if at all possible. I want to do things I know I can do well and things that involve a good chance I will succeed. But today, I stand in the middle of unchartered territory and I am about to enter a new arena of life.
And perhaps for the first time in my life, I’m actually really scared. I’m scared to put myself out there, I’m scared I don’t have what it takes, and most of all, I’m scared because I know this is something I have to do and something I’ve been called to do.
So what can I do?
Well, the answer is in what I’ve been telling my daughter all along. STOP. TRIPPIN. Stop trippin, get in that ring, and do what you got to do! I may get knocked down, I may even get knocked OUT, but I’ve got to learn, and even dare to learn the hard way sometime. It just might be the only way, and I will not let fear of a little scraped up ego or banged up pride get in the way of what I want and need to do. Maybe not with as much spunk as little Kindle, and maybe with the same tears rolling down my face one day too, but either way, it’s time to move forward because when you have a calling on your life, no one else can answer that call for you.